Grief Therapy

Sweet Mollie is in her resting place.  It doesn't look like much, underneath the shrubbery near the bird feeders, but come spring, there will be an island of little yellow daffodils and pansies.  My new concrete bunny whom I've named Smudge guards her spot.  

Grief overwhelms me.  It's hard to explain how the loss of such a tiny little cat can evoke such spasms  of sorrow and grief, but it erupts out of me in wrenching sobs that I cannot contain.  Mollie was my dearest friend, my constant companion, my kindred spirit,  and there was a special bond between us unlike any I've ever had with any pet before.  Losing her feels as though part of me has been torn away.  I know that with time, the loss will seem less raw, that my heart will heal, but for now... the pain of her loss tears me apart. 

Even with two other kitties in the house, there is a silence here that is almost unbearable.  After spending the morning deep cleaning portions of the house, I needed a creative outlet.  But to sit and sew right now... something that Mollie was always there for, sitting on my lap while I stitched... is just too hard.  Instead, I pulled out the oil paints.  It has been too long since I did much oil painting and it is something that I've been missing.  

It took a while to gather supplies and come up with something to paint.  It's always a bit intimidating to look at a piece of blank canvas, no matter how small.  But with the help of Carol Marine's book, "Daily Painting ",  I was soon on my way.  

6" x 6" Green & White,  Oil on gesso-board 

It's just a simple still life, a bit rough, but ok.  Now that I've posted it here, I see a couple of things to fix.  It certainly isn't the best I've done,  and a far cry from some of my better work in the past, but it's a start.  I hope to paint a bit more frequently in the near future.  It's something I've been wanting to get back to.   I'd love to find a balance between painting and stitching somehow.  And working.  Must earn my keep!

Thank you all for your love and encouragement.  It means the world to me.